You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This is the prime rib incident all over again
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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