I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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