It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
