Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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