just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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