Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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