guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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