Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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