I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
