I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
