I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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