She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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