What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
