You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
