I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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