nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
