sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
