...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
