I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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