His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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