Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
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