dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
