I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
