Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Do vagina's smell?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
