i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
