white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
