Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
did i just pee glitter
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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