shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
