ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
