She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
that may or may not have been my penis.
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