Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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