just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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