I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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