You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Randomize
