I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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