Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
