you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
