Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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