I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
