The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
