just come out here and I will go home with you...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
