I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
