You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The air was thick with penises
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Everyone says I win the strip club
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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