we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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