Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have surprise drugs for everyone
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
