He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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