Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
