i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
