We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
