12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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