IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
